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Dear Launders,
My thing is young lesbians. I have dated and slept with just about every lesbian teen girl in my city. Why do I get bored right after the first time and jump yet to another girl? Am I being too promiscuous? Lez-it-all
Dear Lezitall,
If you want me to tell you that you are being to promiscuous you have come to the wrong advice columnist! Lesbo Launders feels strongly that people have different levels of sex drive, and as long as no one gets hurt and safe sex is practiced, there is nothing wrong with having many sex partners. Hell, I'm sure a lot of my readers would love to have your problem! But something tells me that not all is well in Lesboville. If you are asking yourself if you are too promiscuous, you feel guilty.
Now, society (friends, family, therapists, Oprah) all tell us that when a woman has many brief sexual encounters it is because she suffers from mental problems, low self esteem, blah, blah, blah. And society repeats this so often, that we begin to believe it. We deny our own sexuality, our own needs and desires. I'm sure a gay men's columnist doesn't have too many readers asking him this question!
But I suspect that your guilt doesn't come from the number of partners you have, but rather, that you are with girls so young. Now, while there are plenty of young lesbians who just want to FUCK and PARTY all day long, I'm also guessing that a lot of these young girls fall in love with you (yes IN LOVE with your player ass) and are really hurt when that "blossoming relationship" turns into a one night stand. I'm guessing you've made more than a few girls cry.
You need to change your ways, if only for a very selfish reason: we women like to talk, and if you develop a player rep, you might have your teenage-lover pool dry up like a southern California pool during a drought. You need to be very clear to these girls that you want to be with them for a short time, and are willing to do the following for them: teach them some good skills in bed, and introduce them to other lesbians. This way, they will consider you a "lesbian teacher" or "mentor" instead of a heartless ho-bag. Hell, if you do it right, you might even become a right of passage in your town!
Now, why do you leave these girls so soon after you get with them? Well, duh, you are scared of real intimacy! (Get thee to a psychiatrist!) Maybe you just don't want to be tied down right now, and that is ok, if you are honest with yourself and your partners. But, I would suggest that you also try some older girls out, who may be able to offer you more to do then just fuck (like, talking and that sort of thing). The important thing is to pay attention to the girls you are with, and don't close off your heart if you stumble into Miss Right. Love is a many splendour thing: don't be scared! And just because you find yourself in a relationship, doesn't mean that you can't have fun anymore: read my other columns to learn more about adding toys, fantasies and other girls into the mix!
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