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Ms. Launders,
could you please tell me how to coax my lesbian lover into dressing up? I am all for nurses uniforms but can't make her dress up like that... -Code Blue
Dear Code Blue,
I get letters about anal dildoing, fisting and group sex, and you send me a letter about nurses uniforms? Holy smokes! How retro, batman! Has your lesbian lover missed the sexual revolution and strip aerobics?
Part of me wants to tell you to tell her that you should just tell her that at least you aren't asking her to wear a puppy suit and pelt you with over-ripe tomatoes while calling you a cheap whore. Or piss on you. But OK, let's see how we can get your lesbian lover into scrubs. First of all, you need to ask yourself a few questions. Why a nurse's costume? Do you just want to see your lover in a different get up? Do you have a medical fetish fantasy? Do you want to be cared for, as a nurse does with a patient?
Maybe, just maybe, you should start by incorporating other aspects of role playing before you get her all dressed up. If what turns you on is that she takes care of you, maybe she could start by reading you a story, or giving you a sponge bath. Then, the second time, again without her putting on a costume, you could ask her to do the same thing but that she call you patient and you nurse. Then, the next time, ask her to put on the whole costume. This method allows her to slowly work her way up to your lesbian fantasy, rather than making it an "all or nothing" deal, which itself is a turnoff. Or, ask her to dress up, but not engage in any roll playing. That way it will just become a sexy outfit, and nothing more (if that is what turns you on).
Now, ask her why she doesn't want to. Is it because she feels silly? Tell her that you will dress up in a hospital gown so that you both feel ridiculous. Bring in more silly games and playfulness into the bet. Remember, sex should be fun, not something serious that needs to be negotiated 10 times before happening!
Does she not want to because she doesn't want to be considered to be a sex object? Tell her too late for that, sugar cakes! I have a feeling that behind all of this, she is very insecure about her body, and doesn't want to show off for you. There is no simple solution to having low self esteem, except to repeat to her that she is very beautiful, until she gets sick of hearing it!
LESBO LAUNDERS RULE: When your partner doesn't want to go along with a fantasy, instead of making it all or nothing, meet your reluctant partner half way!
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