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Dear Ms. Launders,
For the first time last night I got really jealous of my lesbian lover. While having a drink, a common female friend approached her for some chitchat. I know I shouldn't be possessive of her but when I think that someone else could be touching that precious cave I get all worked up. Is this normal? -Aflame with jealousy
Dear Aflame,
Is it normal to be jealous of a person you love? Yes. Is it healthy? No. Your lover was approached by a common friend (is she even a lesbian?) to talk. And even if she is a fellow carpet muncher there is no reason to think this will automatically lead to her sticking her hand in your lover's twat. People talk to each other everyday, and sometimes even flirt with each other, and nothing more comes of it. The only way to fight jealousy is to have confidence in ourselves, that we are the best that we can be and make love with all of the passion in the world. We need to have so much confidence that we don't believe, but KNOW with all of our hearts that we are worthy of our partner's love.
Have you even talked to your lover about this? Now, don't accuse her of anything, just ask if she thinks this friend is hot. Maybe she doesn't register her as sexually attractive. Maybe just talking to her makes her cream in her lace panties. But the only way to figure this out is to ask, because when you ASSUME you make an "ass out of you and me."
Now, why the obsession? I'll throw out my two cents to Herr Doctor Freud and suggest, maybe, just maybe, you have a fantasy that your lover hooks up with another girl. Somewhere in the back of your mind you want to see her get off with another girl, see that other girl's hand in her pussy, sucking on her clit. Instead of negating this imagination, go with it. Talk to your lover about your fantasies. Remember, fantasies can just stay fantasies. Maybe you can both masturbate while you talk about other chicks you think are hot to trot. Maybe you can add a mirror to the bedroom so you can watch each other get off (it is like adding another couple without the hassle). Maybe you can dress up and where a wig and surprise your lover as "someone else" (wigs to wonders to change the look of a person, I HIGHLY recommend incorporating them into your sex-play).
And maybe, just maybe, you two love birds will decide to add another person into the mix. I strongly suggest this option as a way for established couples to safely have fun with others. To make the experience less stressful, choose a fellow lesbian who does not live in your hometown, but is passing through. That way there is no fear of it turning into something else. And you can keep some activities off limits, if you feel more comfortable.
LESBO LAUNDERS MAXIM: By confronting your fears, you can turn them into pleasure.
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